Until My Dying Day ENG
by klaine.means.eternity
Summary: Little drabble about the episodes 4x15 and 4x18. AU. From the Kurt's perspective.
1. Chapter 1

**_Translated by my lovely Juju ;) Thank you so much!_**

_Never knew I could feel like this,__  
__Like I've never seen the sky before._

The lyrics reached Kurt's ears all over again. He perfectly knew that Santana was just bored and wanted to tease him. Adam fell asleep on the couch and Rachel excused herself with not feeling well and went to take a bath.

___I want to vanish inside your kiss_

He didn't want to give in and give her the satisfaction, he's not going to say a word, he'll wait.

___Seasons may change, winter to spring;_

___But I love you until the end of time._

He observed the snowflakes still twirling outside the window. At the moment, "_until the end of time_" seemed so terribly long. Why did he look at it in this way only now? Maybe because earlier it didn't hurt so much.

___Come what may, come what may,_

___I will love you until my dying day._

He closed his eyes and let the song consume him. It flooded, soothing like a drug, filling his veins, removing the venom poisoning his heart.

___Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place,  
Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace.  
Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste;  
It all revolves around you._

Every next sound hit the most sensitive nerves of his body.

_And there's no mountain too high,  
No river too wide.__  
__Sing out this song and I'll be there by your side,__  
__Storm clouds may gather and stars may collide,_

The melody died down, only the words reached him.

___But I love you until the end of time._

Blaine. One name in his head.

___Come what may, come what may,_

___I will love you...____  
____I will love you..._

- ...until my dying day. – Kurt whispered. His hand unconsciously reached to his pocket, he took his phone out and dialled a number, which he knew off by heart. He shivered from fear, or maybe it was just cold. He put the phone to his ear

___Hey, it's Blaine Anderson. I can't take your call right now, if it's important, leave a message after the signal... beeeep__._

Single tear fell down his cheek and with it strange relief. What would he tell him anyway? Hey, I just heard our wedding song, maybe we will get back together?

What tempted him in the first place, it was only a movie, not real life. It doesn't matter that he loves Blaine. It doesn't matter, that Blaine loves him and waits. And will wait until his dying day. It wasn't that easy. It couldn't be.

Few hours later, when he was laying in his bed, his phone rang. Blaine was calling him back. Kurt muted his phone without thinking., threw it under his pillow and fell asleep.

New voice message. 23:50 07.03

___Hey Kurt, it's me. I couldn't pick up when you called, Sam doesn't let us use phones during broga, it's so silly. Call back!_

New voice message. 08.30 08.03

_Hey Kurt, it's me again. You didn't call back yesterday, did something happen? __I'm waiting for your call!_

Text message from Blaine. 23:45 08.03

___I'm sorry if I am being burdensome, but I'm really worried, let me know when you can!_

Kurt calmly listened out and read the messages and then deleted them, left with no answer.

Missed call from Blaine. 12:30 09.03

Missed call from Blaine. 23:52 09.03

Text message from Blaine. 23:43 10.03

_Is this about what happened on the wedding? __Tell me, what I did wrong, so I could fix it..._

New voice message. 23:58 11.03

_It's Blaine again. Whatever I did wrong... I'm sorry. I love you... Goodnight._

Missed call from Blaine. 23:48 12.03

Missed call from Blaine. 23:50 13.03

Missed call from Blaine. 23:54 14.03

Every day at a similar time his screen showed a missed call. He never pressed the green button.

With time it became a routine. A silent sign, that Blaine is still somewhere there, still hasn't given up. One day Kurt realised that he is waiting for the call. Angry at hiself, he smacked it on the floor. He was however able to fix it, too bad other things weren't that easy.

One night he laid in bed and waited until Blaine's smiling face appears on the screen. It was all he had in this moment. Minutes became longer. He tried reading a book but he kept catching himself staring mindlessly at the pages, listening.

00:34

He didn't call.

Midnight passed and he didn't call.

Kurt knew what this means. Blaine gave up. He wasn't waiting anymore.

Oh Blaine, you promised to love until your dying day and yet so little was needed for you to give up.

Looking at the ceiling, he let the tears flow for the first time since they watched Moulin Rouge. He focused his full attention on pain filling his chest, to postpone the moment, in which he will have to face the painful truth.

For a moment he wanted to call Blaine and scream out everything with btter satisfaction. For a moment he wanted to tell him, that this cannot end this way, that he needs him.

_But he doesn't anymore. _Answered a quiet voice in his head.

And everything ended for him right now. He held his pillow close, muffling nearly hysterical sob.

In the morning he knew what he has to do. He knew that he has to start everything from the beginning.

* * *

He didn't know, however, that the day his phone didn't ring, in McKinley High School in Lima there has been shooting. Shooting, in which only one person got hurt...


	2. Chapter 2

**Now it's really over. I don't like it. But I couldn't be that cruel so I wrote happy ending. Enjoy ;) And kisses for my lovely Juju for translating! **

Finn called a couple of times but Kurt didn't feel like any phone calls at the moment. Only when he saw his dad's number lighting up on the screen, he couldn't ignore the buzzing in his pocket anymore.

However when Blaine's name has been mentioned in the conversation, he abruptly cut Burt off and firmly forbade mentioning anything about him, even if there was a fire.

He didn't want to hear about this boy ever again, he had to leave his past behind. Throw himself in New York's open arms without unnecessary weight.

His father, although he didn't sound convinced, respected his wish.

Kurt heaved a huge sigh, knowing there's no chance for doing any work today. He was supposed to design an outfit for Isabelle's judgement, however his nerves took over and there was no way he would be able to focus again.

"Damn it" He thought "Just when Rachel and Santana are out and I have a moment of peace, I can't use it." He tapped his pen on the table mindlessly and looked outside the window, wondering what to do for the rest of the day. After a moment, he set his phone on the coffee table, grabbed his bag and left; he needed rest.

Few hours later, he and Adam were cuddled up on the couch, watching third in a row episode of Downton Abbey. Actually, Kurt was watching because Adam clearly dozed off on his arm.

Suddenly, inspiration struck him like a bolt of lightning. He came up with an idea how to link classic with 20th Century England

"Adam!" he shot up, dropping the boy's head off his shoulder and waking him up. "Do you have a piece of paper?" he said reaching out for a pen laying on the table.

Jolted from his sleep, he groggily reached next to the sofa and gave him an old, slightly coffee-stained newspaper. "Will this do?"

"Yes, gimmie" – Kurt's eyes unintentionally skimmed over the page. 'McKinley High School', 'shooting', 'perpetrator apprehended', 'victims', the words were taken out of context because of coffee stains. He felt a lump raising in his throat

"What is this? What the fuck is this?!" he shot up, throwing the newspaper on the floor.

"It's my roommate's old newspaper, I haven't even read it" Adam answered calmly, surprised slightly at his behaviour.

"When is this from?!" – Kurt screamed.

"Two days ago. What's going on? You're scaring me, Kurt, you look like you went crazy" the boy tried to grab his hand but he pulled away and with madness clear in his eyes run out of the apartment.

„I need to call him. I need to call him right now" he repeated like a mantra in his head. He run across the city, not minding the snow falling behind his collar and piercing pain in his chest. He stormed in into his apartment panting heavily, got to his phone and immediately dialled his father's number. Moments later Finn's and Carole's. None of them answered. Feeling increasing panic and waves of heat hitting hiim, he trien again, this time calling Tina. To his relief, she picked up at once.

„Blaine" was all he managed to pant into the phone.

„Kurt! I can't talk right now. The funeral is just starting, we're singing with glee club, I'll call you back!" she burst out and hung up.

Kurt nearly in a trance called other glee club members, one after the other, Sam, Artie, Brittany, even Mr. Shue. None of them answered. All of them were on the funeral. _Blaine's funeral. _No, Kurt, it's impossible. Why would you even think that, it's not true. With shaking fingers he dialled his ex boyfriend's number and waited. He wouldn't even let the answer phone recording finish; he pressed the red button and fell to his knees. Why was I so stupid? Why was I so selfish? I promised I will never say goodbye to him... _And I didn't do it. _A sob wracked his body; he got up and threw up in the kitchen sink. He sat down on the floor leaning on a cupboard, resting his forehead and covered himself with his hands, wanting to disappear, to hide from all this pain. His phone rang somewhere across the room, Kurt didn't react, shivering violently, tears streaming down his face.

He didn't know how much time passed, when surprised Rachel found him in this position. She run up to him immediately, taking his hands in hers, pulling them away from his swollen from crying face.

„What's going on Kurt? Something happened to your dad?" she asked, terrified. Even if he wanted to answer, he couldn't, his voice caught in his throat. He won't say anything. He can't. If he did, _it _would become real. So he just looked at her with madness in his eyes. Without thinking twice, Rachel held him close and they sat like there in silence

"You need to tell me what happened" she whispered after a moment, nuzzling her cheek to his temple.

„Blaine" – he choked out finally, which wasn't a good idea, because the sound of his name caused a new spasm attack. Kurt covered his mouth with his hand and didn't even try to stop his shoulders from shaking.

„Shhhh" shocked Rachel held him even tighter and whispered into his hair „He's gonna be okay, I told Santana to go to visit the hospital when she's in Lima"

"Hospital?" Kurt jerked away from his friend's embrace and looked at her like he saw her for the first time.

„Blaine's in hospital, I thought Finn or Burt let you know. He was in a very unlucky place during the shooting and got a bullet to his arm. Thank god nothing more serious happened to him".

„I don't understand... What funeral?"

„Brittany's grandma's funeral; she died a few days ago, that's why Santana flew over there. What did you think?".

Kurt hugged Rachel close and kissed her forehead. Saying nothing else, he ran into the room to book ticket for a flight.

* * *

When he entered the hospital room, Blaine was asleep. He sneaked in on his toes and stood next to the bed, looking at his peaceful face. His eyes started watering as he brushed a few rebel curls away from his forehead. He sat down and stroked his hand resting on the blankets, when Blaine opened his eyes.

"Kurt? Is that you? Am I dreaming?" he murmured, half couscious.

„You're not dreaming, sweetheart, I'm here and I'm not going anywhere" Kurt whispered and kissed his warm cheek. For the first time in long time, the world suddenly seems like such a perfect place.


End file.
